| 29 August 2011
As Texas A&aM is set to make it official that they will join the SEC, word has spread about the official conference application that the Aggies need to fill out before word can be made official that they are the newest member of the conference.
Here are some official questions obtained from the SEC application:
Does your backup quarterback have bangs?
Is Tobacco a top 5 industry in your city?
You're better than Vanderbilt, right?
In the grand scheme of things how important are academics to your university? (be honest)
For your fans is NASCAR the 2nd highest rated sport behind football?
Do your fans cheer when Southern Cal loses?
Has your school ever violated and/or been investigated by the NCAA?
Was your state forcibly integrated?
Does your school sell camouflage gear with the school logo on it?
Has a head coach ever left your university only to come back and coach your rival?
Is "Sherman" considered a curse word?
Have you ever won a recruiting national championship?
Do you want to play for all the Tostitos?
Is there a Waffle House within walking distance of your football stadium?
Has Paul Finebaum ever interviewed your Head Coach's mom?
Did Steve Spurrier give a BS excuse for dropping 60 on you in the 90s?
Do you replace the "all" in football with an "aww"?
Have you ever used "ya'll" or "piss-ant" during a school debate?
Has one of your fans ever poisoned or killed something your rival holds dear?
Is your fan base composed of extraordinarily high numbers of non-alums?
How many pieces of football related statuary are on campus?
Is there a cow pasture within walking distance to your football stadium?
How many times have you beaten Ohio State in a BCS Bowl?
Are you comfortable with over-signing?
Does your car horn play the school fight song, or Dixie?
How close is nearest Chick-fil-A?
Have you ever had an RC Coal and a moon pie?
To Catch a Predator? Solid Journalism or Unfair Entrapment?
Has Charles Robinson visited your campus within the last 6 months?
What year did your state secede from the union?
Is there such a thing as instant grits?
Does your fan base wear Jorts?
Did you have to remove racist references from your state song or flag?
Can you purchase fishing bait and liquor at the same store in your city?
Are you okay with shouting "SEC" after your team beats a team from another conference or SEC division?
Has Houston Nutt ever been linked to a job opening at your school?
Special thanks to everyone on my twitter timeline especially @PeterBurnsRadio, @Mengus22, @LandThieves, @ImTheSportsDude, @BryanDFischer
